Hi Out There!
My apologies for being so quiet around here during the past few weeks, so much happens and you sort of loose track of time and then realise "oh! I haven't updated my blog in a while". These things happens I suppose but hopefully I'll have plenty more posts in the near future to make up for the quiet period-I'll give it my best shot anyway!
Anyway, today's post is a little bit of rant which I apologise for in advance. However, it's good to vent your frustration somewhere and hopefully if I do it here on my blog, the right eyes will read it and somewhere down the line it'll contribute to making things easier for someone else in a similar situation to myself. One can only hope it will have a positive impact at some point but in the meantime I'll use this platform for my own benefit. So here it goes.......
Because of my health I have had ALOT of "professionals" involved in my life ever since I was little. If I'm being completely honest with you; I absolutely hate it! When I was younger it didn't bother me too much, I just got on with it, attended the medical appointments and I suppose didn't think too much more about it. Now is unfortunately, a different story. I suppose having attended so many meetings and medical appointments over the years eventually takes it's toll.
I'm a little sick and tired of listening to the bright ideas that "professionals" who barely know me think are the right way forward for me. Well, I'm sorry but they're not! Not everyone is the same and just because something works for one person doesn't mean it'll be the right thing for another! I'm sure these "professionals" are used to walking into a room and repeating the same old script that they say to everyone they meet each and every day. What they always fail to remember is that they're speaking to someone with feelings and hearing them talk about me and my life in a particular way is pretty painful sometimes. They make you look at yourself in a completely different light and make your life seem alien in many respects. Quite often after the many appointments I attend due to my health, I get home and end up in floods of tears after hearing what was said to me which in turn makes my pain levels worse as my nervous system doesn't react well to stress and upset.
When I was younger I'd walk into a room full of medical professionals who would talk in what often felt like a foreign language. Making decisions about my treatment wasn't as much of a concern to me back then however, as you grow older you're suddenly flung in the deep end and Doctors want you to make the decisions. I often scroll through Facebook and see other people of my age discussing their worries and talking about the decisions they have to make regarding school/college which of course are important and have a major impact in the life. However, if I'm being completely honest I often envy their stress and concerns and wish I was making their decisions instead of decisions regarding the likes of medications and what steps to take next in my treatment. In many respects I feel like an old soul stuck in a teen's body, I struggle to relate to people of my age which might sound a little odd. Growing up so quickly at such a young age and trying to explain the emotions and how it affects you as person to people is difficult. One minute you're wanted to sit in a meeting and discuss extremely personal subjects with a bunch of strangers and then the next minute another "professional" thinks you're just like any other teenager and treat you as if you're clueless which REALLY irritates me! Like I said, I have nothing against others of my age but I find it difficult to be someone I'm not. At this point in my life I've been through a lot, experienced a lot of things that very few of my age already have and yet some "professionals" just presume I'm like any other teenager and should be acting and participating in things that others of my age do. Perhaps had they suggested some of their ideas a few years earlier it would have been different. But it's too late now I'm afraid, I can't be an "adult" and have to make mature decisions one minute and then put my "teenage" brain on the second I step out of the hospital. It unfortunately doesn't work that way; I'm either one way or the other. I am who I am and everything that I've been through has shaped the person I've become, I've matured and learned a lot over the past few years. I'm extremely proud of how much I achieved in the past year in particular and want to focus on making life as good as it possibly can be and more importantly standing up and speaking out about the issues that I alongside many other people are facing on a daily basis!
To be honest, I am now at the stage that I'm about to snap at the next "professional" who thinks they can suggest their useless ideas when A) I have already empathised of numerous occasions that my answer is 'NO!' and B) they haven't taken the time to really get to know me and see that I'm not the "typical" teenager. I am seriously considering handing them a piece of paper with the link to this post and telling them to go read it. Perhaps it would make them stop and think? Perhaps they might realise that before making presumptions they need to instead, look at the situation and at each individual as a person.
As you'll now probably have gathered I am sick and tired of people trying to class me as something I'm not and just presuming that because something suits one person it'll suit and appeal to everyone. Well hello!-It won't! We are all unique (in a good way of course!) and when someone says 'NO', it should taken as 'NO' providing that the outcome's not going to cause harm to anyone. I hope that one day the point I'm trying to make will be taken seriously and perhaps those who need to take notice will do just that. I'm just one person sitting here in my room, on my laptop writing about my frustrations here on this minute space on the internet, if I'm lucky a few people might even sit down and read it. Through just even one person stumbling across this, I sincerely hope I can change perceptions and perhaps even gain the support of others to spread this message further. I can only imagine that I'm not the only person out there who feels this way and hope that through what I write I can find those that feel the same way and together, I hope we can get the message out there!
On that thought, I shall leave you with that thought and bid you farewell for now!
Sending you lots of love, peace and best wishes,
Rob xx
Rob, you're such a strong lass and I truly hope that some of the "professionals" who treat/ed you (previously and in the future) will indeed stumble across this post and notice how much damage they have the power to make to a human's spirit. Your parents have raised you to be strong, so you're lucky and blessed... But how many kids out there just fall between the cracks because they can't handle it?
ReplyDeleteYou're a wee star with a VERY bright shine and if they dull that shine even one tiny bit, they should be ashamed of themselves. Each and every patient has the right to be heard on an individual basis and children and teens are no exception. Keep fighting the system, love.
I saw a quote the other day that made me think of you. It was: "Though she be but small, she is fierce." That's SO you, honey. Keep being awesome. You're SO good at it!
Awww Thank-You so much for you're lovely comment Mia! It really made me smile! I completely agree with you, I've been extremely lucky with my upbringing and to have my family who've supported and kept me strong along the way. Just as you said not everyone is as lucky as me to have that in their lives and I can only begin to imagine just how awful it must be for these young people. I sincerely hope that this post finds the right people and will stop and make them think how their actions effect young people. I hope through the time that I run this blog I can use it to my advantage and get the messages that people NEED to hear out there. I'll certainly keep trying and fighting because it's a battle that's certainly worth it!
DeleteI hope you're doing well! Sending you lots of love and best wishes!
Rob xxx